Ya-Wanna??? or "Full Nest Syndrome"

I was probably about 10 years old and had gone next door for a birthday party.  When Mrs Rossi asked if I wanted a piece of cake, I responded, "Sure!"

"What's the magic word?" was her response...

I was confused; first she asked if I wanted a piece of cake and now there was a magic word.  This was not a game that I had learned to play...

"Abracadabra?" I guessed...

Everyone chuckled.  She was not amused.

Freddy (who was 4) whispered to me, "it's 'yes, please'..."

Now I was really confused.  Why did she want me to say "please" when she had asked me about the cake?  I remember thinking that (if this was how the game was played) my initial response to her should have been,

"Mrs Rossi, don't you mean to say, 'would you please like a piece of cake' "?

This response would have gotten me a one-way ticket home, it would have pleased my mother to no end tho she would have had to proceed with the obligatory chastising and (the worst part) I'm certain that it would have meant no-cake.

Whether or not it is appropriate to teach another mother's children manners through deceit is still in question.  I was taught manners by a 2x4; something my oldest sister had decorated for Mom.  She painted "Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child" on a 2 foot piece of 2x4, drilled a hole in it for a leather strap and presented it to Mom as a Mother's Day gift; Mom hung it in the kitchen for years until it was broken on one of us (I don't recall who, but I think it was my brother).  

I do think of myself as being well-mannered (you would be too), but on Easter Sunday I realized something that had never occurred to me before; my family does not know how to say "Please".  It is completely outside of the vocabulary.  "Please" has been replaced by the phrase "Ya-Wanna".

It sounds like this:

Ya-Wanna grab me a platter.

Ya-Wanna slice the ham.

Ya-Wanna get a different chair.

Ya-Wanna pass me the pickled eggs (that's a whole other story).

Ya-Wanna clear the table...

I'd put a question mark, but it's never a question; it's directive...

A question mark would imply a question (I'm a smart one) and a question would require an answer...  and the answer would most likely be... "No, I don't wanna..."  However, my response has become, "I will..."  which is the short version, of "Well, I don't necessarily want to, but yes, I will do that for you".

I can't explain to you why it bothered me so much.

Perhaps it was because Friday night had been drama-free.  Yup, we had been together Friday night to celebrate mom's birthday and the drama hadn't come to the party...  I think it was off somewhere recruiting other drama to come for Easter dinner.  ..and sure enough, drama found some friends and came for lunch...  ugh and yuck!

The most likely reason for my short fuse on Sunday was "the nest".  When the household whittled down to fewer people the family decided to quit making Easter baskets and start making what they refer to as "the nest".  Now, you've pictured a robin's nest that is the size of your hands if you cup them together, right?!   Wrong.  Think more in terms of a pterodactyl nest, enough chocolate to supply a small town in Switzerland.   ...and since we weren't planning to eat lunch until 3ish (complicated by the fact that I had skipped breakfast) I decided to raid the nest.  Sugar in any guise will have horrible results when I consume it on an empty stomach.  In fact, if you met me for the first time when I was "on-chocolate" you would seriously question that I was the person who referred to himself as "Silly"...  Cricket gives me an easter basket, but fills it with "Stuff", not with sugar (This was a very valuable lesson to have learned)...

Maybe the distaste for the phrase has just been brewing for so very long...

...whatever the reason, who knows...

Beestro, on the other hand, says neither "Please" nor "Ya-Wanna"...  

His approach is simple; "Food or death, I will remain here, under your feet, until such a time as either a) you feed me or b) you trip over me and break your neck.

Oddly enough, in all of life, the only people who seem to say "please" any more are telemarketers, and I hang up on them.

-silly