An evening with Mr Foote (a three for Thursday)

I had coffee last night with my friend Mr Foote.  He's a great guy with an opinion about everything from politics to parenting...  he's very well read and consumingly interesting...  funny even...  

So, in an effort to let you get to know me better here are a few of our interchanges from last night...

On his 20 y/o son's girlfriend (he doesn't like her)

"Mindy has moved into the house.  She is a total slob!  And on top of everything, she told me that she wants to get a tattoo.  I know Matt; if she gets a tattoo he will be completely turned off.  If I warn her I..."

"Warn her?"

"Yes, well... he's not going to like a tattoo, so..."

"So?  It's perfect.  Make a pot of coffee, sit down with her and ask her if she's thought about which design she wants.  ...and ask if she's found a reputable tattoo artist...  and recommend something, something intricate with lots of color..."

---

On what he's reading/recommending...

"So after he's been trapped in the 1800s for a year or so it becomes clear to him that he is the poet he studied before the time travel and was kidnapped..."

"You know, every time you read a good book, you tell me how it ends.  I'm going to start wandering the aisles before we meet (we have coffee in Barnes and Nobles) and pick out the worst drivel to recommend to you; something with a bare-chested man on it."

---

And the ever unintentional...

"So I was going through my storage unit and found the Snoopy toy Matt gave to me so many years ago..."

"How long ago that was!  Matt must have been only 5 or 6.  Are you moving stuff out of storage?"

"No, just pulling out junk for the garage sale..."

---

-silly

Wolf Games (a three for Thursdays)

Wolf complained last week that there was no Three for Thursday post, so in his honor...  Wolf Games...

Wolf and I have been friends for many years now, we first met when I was playing the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz, but didn't really get to know each other until one night a few years back when a group of us were all going to meet up and only he and I showed...  we spent the evening drinking vodka and cranberry and laughing about the madness involved in keeping the friends that we keep...  I had vacationed with these friends (you know the type, the ones that have to do everything en-masse and as prescribed by the most passive-aggressive member of the party) and convinced Wolf to come along.  Thereafter he and I vacationed sans drama and with some other friends from Chicago...  on these long trips we came up with a few games...

The first was: Jewish Mother - Protestant Mother...  This game has certain rules, foremost is that you must always respect your opponent's mother.  With that said, one's own mother is fair game and the competition is to simply prove that your own mother is more adept at doling out guilt, neurosis, over-care etc than your opponent's mother.  We are pretty evenly matched.  

The second game is:  Axis...  In this game one must demonstrate, beyond any doubt, that they are the Axis and that the world does (in fact) revolve around them.  Wolf is a master of this game and has been playing it longer than we have been friends, but has perfected his strategy in our time together - holding his left index finger stationary he says "this is me" he then orbits his right index finger around it saying "this is the world... it's just that simple"...  When he gets there, I know I'm beaten.

The last game is:  Pet the dog - pet the owner...  a very fun game to play when on vacation because people always have dogs...  it's played like this.  As a dog and owner approach one player calls out "Dog" or "Owner".  Then you engage in conversation and the person who ended up with dog has to pet the dog and the person who ended up with owner has to (somehow) pet the owner...  of course, either player can beg out of the competition depending on just how ferocious the dog is and the body odor of the owner.  I have to admit that Wolf has been a fierce competitor; we've met some nasty dogs and some seedy owners...

Ok, so they're not games that Milton Bradley could market, but you get to a point where you know your friends just so well that one word or two will engage them in what can become a hilarious interchange...

"Dog"

"Yup, ME!"

or

"My mother..."

-silly

Putting my finger on it (you can quote me)

If you're having that kind of day, I'm here to help you put it into words.  Here are a few of my faves...

"I'm having a double-espresso kind of day, but my brew is set on herbal tea."

"A few of the stars in my constellation went dim; somehow I went from the Big Dipper to just Dip."

"Some days I'm Tigger, some days I'm Eeyore, but most of the time I just feel like Pooh."

-silly

You Got the Part...You can quote me

Did you ever see the movie "Waiting for Guffman"?  It's a window into the world of community theatre...the dark underbelly of ... well... something...  and I have been a part of this dark underbelly for many years now, tho, lately, not as active.  I've had a chance to meet some real characters while playing some fictional ones.

So, when I saw an audition call for the play "The Boys Next Door" I thought I'd give it a shot.  I did get a call-back, but the other guys reading for the part were exceptional and I'm man enough to admit when I'm out of my league.  That's not to say that I didn't get the part - I've gotten no call yet about it, so we'll see...

But here are a few of the funny things said to me when I've actually landed a part...

"You didn't even need to read for me.  When I saw those sneakers I knew you'd be perfect..."  (on being cast as Snoopy in "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown")

"We were looking for someone built like a football player to play the maid."                               (on being cast as Jakob in "La Cage au Folles".)

"Sweetie, sometimes type-casting just works in your favor."                                                           (on being cast as Bottom [transformed into an ass] in "A Midsummer Night's Dream")

Wish me luck...

-silly

Spring... You can quote me...

Well, it's been a wet and warmer week weather-wise and I'm happy to report that many of the daffodils are poking through the soil.  The prospect of getting outside and starting to work in the garden excites me, but I'm always a little leery of uncovering stuff until I know it's going to stay warm.  Some of the fierce wind we had this winter has made the yard look as though I never raked at all; I have neighbors to thank for this, the ones that actually never did rake at all...

I've learned some life lessons working in the garden and, as it is Three for Thursday, I'm going to list three for you...

Tulips bloom because the winter has been cold...

Leaves don't fall from trees simply because the leaf is dead, but to make room for a new leaf grow...

Not everything you plant in your garden will grow, and not everything that grows in your garden is something that you planted...

-silly

You Can Quote Me

 Some of my blogging counterparts seem to be in the habit of setting aside a day of the week to do the same thing, week after week:  this one writes about her cat every Monday, that one writes on a letter of the alphabet every Tuesday, Baloney Rants-n-Raves on Wednesday...

This reminds me of an old boss I had; she wore the same grey suit every Monday.  When it was pointed out to me I made a mental note to watch the following week and even put a reminder in my calendar...  sure enough, Monday came, the reminder popped up, I went to see for myself and lo and behold she had on her grey suit.  I had to ask...   ...she said it gave her one day of the week when she really didn't have to think about what she was going to wear, she just had to put it on.

I left the reminder on my PC and week after week, tho her life was easier, my life was given something new to make me giggle...

So, in that same spirit, I've decided to give you "3 for Thursdays"...  I'm not so sure what that means yet, but you can be sure Thursday will bring you three things that are in, relatively, the same vein...

Today: my Quotes  

Sometimes I'm presented with an idea that sticks in my brain and when I think-about-it and think-about-it I get to a point where I come up with a quote that sums up the thought.  I used to think that I'd save all these up for a play I'll write some day (yeah, that'll never happen)...

So, with no more introduction, here are three of my favorite personal quotes.

"I love you to death; and sometimes I think it just might come to that."

"While great minds may think alike, it is also possible for two idiots to make the exact same mistake."

"If you can be dumb enough to reach your conclusion without any facts, I should be smart enough to realize that the facts won't change your mind."

-silly