Friday, January 20, 2012

Hiding in tech-land or "Me, myself and (You if you're eavesdropping)"

The stupid thing about those games on Facebook is that you have to convince your friends to play in order to actually make any progress - most of my friends don't play them anymore. ...remind me to tell you about the Christmas grab bag at the office...

The stupid thing about me is that I decided to create an alter-ego on Facebook so I would have an additional friend to be my neighbor in the those games. To be honest one additional friend is usually of inconsequential (v) value and a regular pain in the butt because you have to log-out, log-in and log-out and log-in... etc, etc... stupid... BUT then I found that my a-e actually had a much better purpose to his cyber-life...

COMMENTS

boy, howdy!

He's the best! He can insult me like no one else. He can make brilliant observations about my posts and actually state those things I'd never say myself. Is he vicious? Yes, he actually is.

Does that make me a coward? Maybe it does.

I used to be the guy that always avoided the inappropriate comment - so much to say, quips, remarks, one liners... I thought, "some day I'll write a book". These days, I say what I want, but I'm perceived as the guy who is "on his cell phone..."

So I'm in the grocery store behind this dame whose child is screaming and I say out loud and directly to the back of her head...

"Your kid would be better behaved if you were a better parent. What a monster."

As she swung around at me, I continued a different part of that same conversation about parenting into my "ear piece", reached past her and grabbed four cans of tuna; jabbering about nothing important to no one at all.

She waddled off.

She couldn't pick a fight with me without admitting two things:

A) that she was listening to my conversation
B) that her child was acting like a monster

I feel sorry for parents with children who misbehave, but isn't that why God created peanut allergies? ...but I digress...

Maybe I'm a coward who has found a new way to talk behind your back right in front of your face?

Maybe I'm sensitive and care what others think so much that I've found a way to hurt their feelings that also provides a way to rationalize it away.

Maybe I'm a new type of hunter with a new type of blind.

I have an idea for a gizmo that makes another driver's car horn go off when you press the button. (someone has to blow their horn at that stupid traffic cop, but he doesn't have to know it's me)... I'll call it "van-triloquist"...