...the other night Cricket and I went to visit Shimp and Slinger and when I turned on my headlights (with a great flash and flourish) one of them became a supernova and then a black hole... I don't know about you, but if I have a headlight out every cop within a 25 mile radius sees me coming and stops me...
(otherwise, I'd drive around for a while with one headlight just to give every jr hi boy looking for a pedittle a chance to get a kiss)
So, with one light out and well past due for an oil change I went to the car Spa... I call it the car Spa because well, if my insurance covered it, I'd call it the car doctor, but since they don't it's more like a spa treatment.
Louie recommended this great place on Rte 10 that I actually have come to trust with my little VW. I love my car, but boy-howdy does the dealership take me for all I'm worth when I take it in there. I don't believe that I have EVER left the dealership without paying less than a Grand for whatever service I needed.
So I called and set up an appointment.
-10AM...
-oil change, headlight, that's it...
-great, thanks
Sure enough, I dragged myself in to the Spa in time for my appointment... sure enough, my last name was on the white board... I spoke with the nice girl at the counter, she asked if I had an appointment, I said I did... she checked, she asked for my last name a second time, said, "Oh" smiled "there you are.."
...yes, she smiled... it was enough for me to notice, but not enough to have remarked about at the time...
So I waited...
What I was going to originally comment on about the visit was a conversation that happened between the owner - think Uncle Fester - and a guy - think John Bellushi... Uncle Fester and John were having one of those conversations that men have about NOTHING and vying for the champion of world's loudest. Uncle Fester has about 15 years on John and asks if John is even 40.
"Yes, I'm 46..."
He went on to say that when he turned 40 he felt great, but that the years between 40 and 46 had been unreal and that every morning he wakes up with a new pain. He noticed that I had laughed and looked at me...
I simply said, "44" to which he nodded...
My car was pulled up the door at the same time that a man too old to be driving walked in the door and declared he wanted to buy tires.
-Which tires?
-For my car...
I laughed again, but the ensuing conversation was every bit as annoying as the earlier conversation. "If I stand in line behind the old guy, they'll get the hint that I'm ready to go..." I thought... So, I stood behind him and started to look around the place.
...and there it was on the white board, how had I missed it...
10AM - VW - Oil change/headlight
and before it... Ms "____".
Ms? What? Ms? Do I sound like a Ms?
I'm relatively confident that I do not look like a Ms, but I do NOT think I sound like one either... I was miffed - maybe more than I should have been...
Is this why counter girl smiled?
Do I sound like a Ms on the phone?
Was it because I was free at 10AM to bring my car in?
Was it because I couldn't change my own oil or headlight?
Was the staff secretly watching me and laughing?
What if someone I knew walked in there, knowing that I had an appointment and saw Ms before my last name? I'd never live it down... UGH...
Counter girl came up to the counter to help me. Looks like you're all ready. "Yup" I said, dropping my voice a full octave. Of course, having dropped my voice, she couldn't hear me and looked up asking, "I'm sorry?"
I was tempted to reach over and smudge the "Ms" before I left but I knew that if no one else had caught it, a smudge would be a dead giveaway and THEN there'd be a story... Nope... I hopped in my little car and drove off...
Knowing that there are people out there who I can call at any point in time, who would recognize my voice tho it's been years since I've seen them, people who would never call me "Ms..."
Note to self: The next time I call for an appointment at the Spa I'll drop my voice and start with "Hey, Buddy..." and not "Hi..."
Hopefully, they won't think I'm Rosie O'Donnell...
- (Mr.) silly
3 comments:
Well, if you stop dressing in drag the confusion would stop. :-)
Good grief!!! You don't sound anything remotely like a MS, Miss, or Mrs.!! Its probably because I go there all the time, they all know me and probably put the Ms. there thinking it was me.
Oh, and Uncle Fester, he's a trip...remind me to tell you about him. LOL!
Oh where oh where has Silly gone? Oh where oh where can he be?
CD :(
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