Wednesday, July 1, 2009

A Ride on the Mood Swing or "We don't tell people we're twins..."

You're not going to get this unless I establish right from the outset that there was no one in the bank, but me.  Well, ok, no one but me and the staff (is that what you call them?).  I stepped in and was surprised to see that tellers weren't even doing whatever it is that they are doing when you walk in and they look up at you and smile as if to say, "I am SO VERY busy, but you are SO VERY important that I will help you..."

I've had this same account for 15 years at Bank A.  It's a savings account and the account number starts with a "6".  (You're thinking that you don't need to know this, but you do.)  So about 11 years ago, Bank B bought Bank A.  Three years later Bank C bought Bank B, but kept the name of Bank B.  Only for all of this to be rolled up into Bank D.  Bank D is certainly no huge mega-bank, in fact, I'd be very surprised if they have offices outside of NJ.  

I know very little about Bank D, but I know this...  their Checking account numbers start with a "6".  

For several years now I've gotten blank stares from tellers who look at my savings withdrawal slip and then proceed to correct me and send me away for a checking account withdrawal slip...  (as a side note, I've found that a very creative way of withdrawing from my checking account is to write a check... not run to the bank, but maybe that's just me) that point, I have to correct them.

At the end of May I decided that I should walk (it's good exercise afterall) and so it was that I walked to the bank, which is a tad over a mile (one way).  I stepped in, filled out a slip and went to the line.  An older lady called me to her counter, picked up my slip, took one look at it and said, "Oh, that's one of those old savings account numbers isn't it?"

"Yes it is", I answered and smiled.

She could not have been nicer.

So June passed...  (I didn't really get around to walking in June because the weather was so lousy, as a replacement for that exercise I simply did nothing...  what a great feeling of accomplishment!)

...and today I went back into the bank...  (no I didn't walk - it's over a mile!!!)

I endorsed my Obama check (this is how I refer to a small Federal check that augments unemployment, the amount is so small I really do wonder why they've bothered - which makes me sound ungrateful, but I'm not - when it all runs out I'll be thankful for every last dime)

stepped up to the line (let me say again that I was the ONLY customer)

"Yeah?" asked the same older lady who was so very nice the last time.

"Hi", I responded handing her my endorsed check when I stepped up to her counter, "I just want to cash this, this is my ID."

She looked at my ID, slid it back to me like I had smeared it with pig snot (which I may just do next time)...  

type, type, type..  grumble, grumble...

type, type...


"You can't cash this here.  This is not one of our accounts."

"Oh, it's a savings account."

"No, Sweetie, savings accounts don't start with 6."  (Nothing so condescending as Sweetie, Darling or Honey said in the correct tone.)

I was so stunned that I didn't know what to say.  I looked around for Alan Funt, or is it Regis these days, but there didn't seem to be a hidden camera.

"It's a very old account."

She paused.

Now, just so you know...  I wasn't wearing a mask or a dress or my anti-senior citizen T-shirt, maybe I should have shaved, I don't know.

She punched the numbers into the system again, grunted and gave me my money.

How is it...

...not one part of the interchange made sense to me whatsoever.

As I took my money I did the only thing I knew how to do...

I winked.  I smiled.  I said, "Please tell your sister I said Hello..." I turned she gave me a puzzled look...

...I haven't seen her sister since that little girl from Kansas dropped a house on her...



Stevers said...

You are just the best....I love it!

Anonymous said...

OMG! I loved that post. I can just see it happening, and I know it's happened to me. You feel like you're in an episode of the Twilight Zone, or,as you said, Candid Camera. What is up with these people?

Thanks for a great laugh. You handled it so well when you told her to say hi to her sister for you. That was genius!