Seeking flexible clown for day shift...

You have to love the unclear speech that people have dreamed-up so that they don't offend.  I've gone to class after class after networking group for "the unemployed"  and I can't help laughing at the way people talk.

"You're not unemployed!  You are in transition."

"Um... No, I'm unemployed."

"...but you can't think that way..."

BLANK STARE

You see, if I don't "think that way" I'm very likely to think that a paycheck is going to come from somewhere.  And, when that paycheck doesn't come, I'm reminded (not that I'm in transition) but that I'm unemployed...  So, for the sake of the nay-sayers, I've come to refer to myself as "enumployed" and, if they ask what that means, I explain that it's like being without a job or a paycheck except that you actually are.  Then they leave me alone.

A friend of mine is always at the enUmployment office when I go down there.  It seems that she has found some volunteer work there and spends a good bit of her time helping others work on their resumes, find job leads etc.  Good luck with that.

I ran into her after a class Creative Job Searches - Maximizing Your Interests and Strengths.  She asked for my impression of the class.  I explained that I love to craft and cook and such, but that I really need to make a living.  So if Martha Stewart isn't hiring (does anyone out there know if Martha Stewart is hiring?) I may need to rely on something else.  She remarked that some of the classes are more helpful than others, but you never know where you'll pick up a great idea.  Well, I needed to know...

"So, did you find the class helpful when you took it?"

"Sure, it gave me some things to think about."

     I'm doubtful.

"Like?"

"Avenues to pursue that I hadn't considered..."

      I'm still curious.

"Like?"

"Well, like clowning.  I have been a clown for fun for a while...  and I like Yoga.  I've taken intense yoga classes.  and...  and you never know how these could lead to a new career for me...  you know, if I think creatively."

By this point I'd had enough and promised to call when I had time to grab lunch (because being enumployed has kept me so very busy).

And as I drive home I begin to think creatively about a new job for her.  

Could there be a market for clown yoga? 

         Would you have to come in full dress or just makeup?

You can't really be a clown without the shoes and most yoga is done in bare feet.

         Would classes be held at a gym or at the fair-grounds?

...surely they would be held behind locked doors...

         What about the poses?

How about "downward facing elephant" instead of dog or

pie-in-the-face pose?  

How about the classic crammed-in-a-car pose?

...there could be the sitting on a cactus pose...

and the very difficult squirting-flower pose...

Alas, being neither an accomplished clown nor flexible enough to endure a yoga class I'm not convinced that I could embark on this enterprise that has so completely captivated me, but at least I have a new assurance.

Given my skill set, no job I dream up could be quite as disturbing as clown-yoga...

-silly