Wednesday, March 25, 2009

It's The Little Things or "the fly is down on the zipper of my brain and no one told me..."

It's the little things that make me laugh.  I seldom laugh at jokes, but let me catch someone in the corner of my eye doing something that hits my funny bone and I can't control myself.  An old friend used to avoid my right elbow because she had seen me squish a fly with it; I guess she wasn't sure how one could adequately wash their elbows...  She even asked me once, "Is that the FLY elbow?"  So, I caught her looking at my elbow a few times and would slowly move it toward her - when she would move away from it I would howl with laughter...  I keep odd friends in my life for just this reason.

It's the little things that offend me.  I'm not easily offended, but there just isn't a better word...  you know those times when someone says something that is clearly a window into how they truly feel...  I tried on a double-breasted suit once and asked the associate (who was paid to make me feel good about myself ) if she thought the suit made me look "boxy".  She replied, "You are boxy."  (NOTE: Husbands, this is not an exemplary response to the wife who asks if something makes her look fat.)

It's the little things that worry me.  ...and so it is that I found myself terrified today...  because I put the starch away or hadn't.  I had an interview yesterday and ironed my shirt (I know, momentous occasion "the ironing of the shirt"...  oh and excited about the interview too)...  I managed to put away the ironing board and empty the water from the iron before I put it back in the cabinet, but the starch never made it home...  so, this morning, after my second cup of coffee, I walked into the dining room and found that the starch was still sitting on the table.  I looked around for the cap - that yellow cap that could only go on the starch - but the cap was nowhere to be found.  Lest I miss more of "Ellen", I decided to put the starch away without the cap and, if I found the cap, I could put it on later.  I grabbed the can...  headed to the laundry room...  opened the cabinet and there it was...

the cap

...that yellow cap that could only go on the starch...

TERRIFYING

There were no hard plastic eyes to stare at me, no face to taunt me, no sneer to defy, but scariest of all... no legs to help it get back to the cabinet...

I had put it there.  In the midst of cleaning up the ironing chore, I had put away the cap.  While today, I had thought to find the cap before I put away the starch, yesterday, it had not even crossed my mind to find the starch when I grabbed the cap and stuck it in the cabinet.

I recognize that I don't hear as well as I used to hear and the mere fact that I have eight pair of very expensive frames (since getting glasses for the first time 4 years ago) says much about my eyesight...  ...but will I know when my brain goes?  

...or has it gone already and no one mentioned it...

-silly

5 comments:

Clay Doodles said...

I was going to comment, but I forgot what I was going to say. Sigh!

Little Ms Blogger said...

At least you remember where the starch and it's cap goes.

It'd be worse if the cap was found in the dishwasher or microwave. That is when you would have to start worrying.

Little Ms Blogger said...

You killed a fly with your elbow? Impressive.....

Stevers said...

I can't tell you how many time I have done the "cap" type of cleaning myself....

You truly make me giggle!

Wild Boomba said...

When you start putting the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the pantry, then you'll know you're hitting rock bottom. Take it from someone who knows!!!