Friday, March 6, 2009

"Unemployed" - the Musical or "But Father, I want to sing..."

[Scene:  A mall early morning.  Store workers are busy opening stores for the day.]

[Middle aged man appears on stage singing]

MAN: Circuit City
such a pity
going under now
    Prices dropping
    feel like shopping
    yet, I wonder how

At the mall
wall to wall
signs of brightest red
    it's all on sale
    a wondrous tale
    yet my income's dead

CHORUS:  Yet his income's dead.

MAN w/ CHORUS:  Overjoyed, I should be overjoyed

MAN:  But I'm not...

CHORUS: No he's not...

MAN:  I'm unemployed

CHORUS: Yes, he's unemployed
A dime is all he's got.

MAN:  All I've got...

I could buy
me, oh my
Everything I see
    But there's no dough
    don't ya know
    So I'll let it be...

CHORUS: Let it be, let it be, let it be

MAN:  Oh, this fate
which I hate
All the world's a tease
    The euro's down
    and the Pound
    but I can't travel overseas


CHORUS:  He should be overjoyed.

MAN:  but I'm not.  I'm so annoyed.

CHORUS:  Yes, he's annoyed

MAN:  quite a lot.  My hopes destroyed.

CHORUS:  his hopes destroyed.  Was it a plot?

MAN:  Was it a plot?  Should I be paranoid?

CHORUS:  you should see Sigmund Freud...

MAN:  Because, like me, he now is unemployed...


MAN:  Summers off

TEACHER:  Like a teacher

TOGETHER:  Whole week off

PREACHER:  Like a preacher

TOGETHER:  Don't take orders

WAITER:  Like a waiter

TOGETHER:  or give orders

DOCTOR: Like a doctor

TOGETHER:  and every holiday

BANKER:  Like a banker, at the bank!

MAN:  My old boss is to thank...  


CAST:  So...  Now...   we're...    Overjoyed
Somehow we're overjoyed
we shouldn't be, and yet we are

and why be so annoyed
with all our hopes destroyed

BANKER:  I didn't really need another car

CAST:  we won't be paranoid 
or hire Sigmund Freud
to give advice or use his couch

We all are unemployed
Together unemployed
...and together feel this ouch.


MAN:  Circuit City
Such a pity
Going under now

Who'll be next


TEEN GIRL:  Ooo a text

[All on stage grab their cell phones and disburse on stage as they text.]

MAN:  [SLOWER] What's to say
Here's my resume
It's been redone a million times

I know somehow
That you don't want it now
and I should go apply on-line

but tell me friend
will this ever end
and will I ever find a job

To get that meal
will I beg and steal
How many banks I'll have to rob

BANKER:  [SPOKEN] Banks?  What banks?  Are they hiring?

MAN:  Unemployed... I'm only unemployed


CAST:  It crosses borders, crosses class

MAN:  We're unemployed and just like hemorrhoids...

CAST:  a royal pain, right in the ass

MAN:  but this will pass

CAST:  yes, this will pass

MAN:  and we'll have jobs

CAST:  be working slobs

And then we'll be annoyed
and won't be overjoyed

MAN:  I'll work and envy all those people unemployed...


Ok, so it's a work in progress.



Lrgrhm said...

I love it! Keep up the good work! I can see this on Broadway soon.... ;)

harveygirl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
harveygirl said...

We need to get this to someone! Paul Schenkmen maybe?